3 Pancake Principles


My friend posted a link of video on his facebook, and I clicked. But rather than posted his posted-video, I stumbled upon this. I found this video in the ‘next-video’ section. Great speech by an awesome person. Her name is Ash Beckham, and she taught us how to come out from our closet as we may all have our own ‘closet’ which at first we think it’s a safe place to live, but it’s not.


For you who have not watch her speech, please enjoy.

She happens to be gay, but it’s not just about how hard for a gay to have a hard conversation. I guess this is just an example of how we live our lives. Other examples may be anything.

I bookmarked what she said. I find them as very useful advices for me in the future. Here they are:

Hard is not relative, hard IS hard.

We need to stop ranking our ‘hard’ against everyone else’s ‘hard’ to make us feel better or worse about our closet and just commiserate of the fact that we all have ‘hard’.

At some point in our lives, we all are living in the closet and they may feel safe, no matter what your wall’s made of, a closet is no place for a person to live.

Concern of other’s person feeling –> stress.

When you do not have hard conversations, when you keep the truth about yourself a secret, you’re essentially holding a grenade. If you don’t throw your grenade, it will kill you.

If you’re gonna be real with someone, you gotta be ready for real in return.

3 pancake girl principles:

  1. Be authentic
  2. Be direct
  3. Be unapologetic

You’re speaking your truth, don’t ever apologize for that. Apologize for what you’ve done, but never apologize for who you are. Some folks might be disappointed, but that’s on them not on you. Those are their expectation of who you are, not yours. That is their story not yours. The only story that matters, is the one that you wanna write.

So the next time you find yourself in a pitch black closet, clutching your grenade know we have all been there before, and you may feel so very alone but you’re not. And we know its hard, but we need you out here, no matter what your walls are made of. Be that person, and show the world that we are bigger than our closets and the closet is no place for a person to truly live.

Indeed. Thanks for the life lesson, Ash!

Live the life to the fullest.


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